Our Definition of ‘Work’ Needs to Change as the Childcare Crisis Creates More Stay-at-Home Parents

Four years ago, while COVID-19 was infecting the globe, I was disinfecting homes in Scarborough, ME. My study abroad program had abruptly ended for fear that borders would close, and I was living with my parents while the dorms were closed.

With little to do and no sense of how long the pandemic would last, I searched for a temporary job. On a whim and with no experience whatsoever (in fact, I barely cleaned my own room), I took a job cleaning vacation rental homes. A few days each week, I would head to the beach with my newly acquired cleaning supplies, scrub down the homes, and make about $60 per hour.

Fast forward to today, where I clean my own house with the same supplies, to the same high level of sparkling and fresh-smelling perfection my employers required, but I make $0 doing so. Does that mean it’s not work?

The Rise of New Language

My feeling of “I don’t get paid enough for this” is not unique to me or to cleaning the home. People cooking three meals a day for their families, serving as 24/7 childcare, and doing carpool duty, homework duty, or tending to a sick infant often have the same thought, and to a much greater extent.

Those who juggle all of these tasks but are asked, “Why don’t you work?” or are told, “It must be so nice to not have to work,” are understandably frustrated. Not only are these roles “work,” but they are foundational to our society. Yet, because they do not come with a salary, they are not given the same weight as a Project Manager or an Architect.

In response to this disparity, many are now choosing to distinguish between “work” and “paid work.” You may have noticed that people — mainly women — are using their online platforms to integrate and popularize this new way of speaking.

Mothers returning from maternity leave are saying, “I am returning to paid work,” so as not to discredit the incredibly hard work they have already been doing at home.

People are choosing to say, “I work as a stay-at-home parent,” because that role is, in fact, an incredible amount of work. These language-changers aim to disconnect salary from the value of work and show that being paid does not automatically make something more valuable or worthwhile.

The Data Behind Our Childcare Crisis

If you’re still unconvinced and feel that this change in rhetoric is too liberal or touchy-feely, consider the childcare crisis in the US. The US Department of Labor Statistics and the US Census Bureau report that “child care expenses are untenable for families throughout the country” and show that in 2022, child care ranged from 8-19% of median family income per child.

Those numbers are staggering, especially for families with more than one child, and many families are simply unable to spend this much on childcare.

In some areas, even if families could afford childcare, there is none available. In fact, over 50% of people in the US live in a childcare desert, meaning that there are three times more children than childcare slots available.

This lack of available childcare is due largely to low pay. Care providers make less per hour in many communities than fast food workers, and in 2020, the average childcare worker made just $12.25 hourly. This adds up to about $25,480 annually, putting them among the lowest-paid occupations in the US.

In fact, childcare workers and their families across the nation are more than twice as likely (11.8%) to live in poverty than other workers and their families (5.8%).

Without a living wage, caregivers are moving to different jobs, and available childcare slots are disappearing. Parents who cannot find or afford care must dramatically change their work situation or leave the workforce altogether. Therefore, many stay-at-home parents are not doing so by choice; they simply cannot keep their paid jobs while also caring for their children during the workday.

When you consider that the median annual cost of childcare in the US from 2014-2018 was $5,890-$17,171 (in 2023 real dollars) per child, it makes sense that some parents, particularly those with more than one child, see staying home to provide care as more financially valuable than a full-time job. In fact, stay-at-home parents with three kids could be providing care worth more than $50,000 annually.

While it may seem trendy and annoying that people on the internet or in your life insist on using the terms “work” and “paid work” separately, there are valid reasons behind it that have plenty of economic data to back it up.

What Employers Can Do to Retain Parents

Given that leaving the workforce is starting to look like a good idea to many parents these days, employers facing staffing shortages or having a difficult time finding workers with the right skills should start exploring what they can do to meet their existing workers’ needs as their families grow.

The first idea that comes to mind for many is offering on-site childcare, but while that is feasible for some companies, it’s unrealistic for many. A small company with relatively few workers or few parents may not be able to justify bringing in a provider and dedicating a space to childcare. A company that has shifts through the night or at odd hours may not be able to staff a care center 24/7, or a job site may simply be too unsafe for children.

Furthermore, many companies have a “childcare isn’t our business” mindset, and the logistics of onsite childcare may be too much to ask. In light of those realities, here are a couple of other employer-based childcare interventions employers can use to help keep parents in the workforce:

Subsidized Childcare

One of the most direct ways a company can support parents is by subsidizing childcare. This can look like a small stipend, a percentage of care, a percentage of income — whatever best suits the company. Subsidizing care rather than providing it directly allows parents to choose the care option that works best for their family, location, and schedule.

Create a Dependent Care Flexible Spending Account

Another financial way companies can help parents is by offering a Dependent Care Flexible Spending Account. This account allows employees to set aside a certain amount of tax-free dollars each year to cover dependent care expenses. Employers can also consider contributing a certain amount to that account each year when an employee starts one.

Allow Schedule Flexibility

Employers who are struggling to retain parents should examine their policies and culture around flexible work schedules. Life happens, and the stress of navigating last-minute changes to daycare arrangements and sudden illnesses is enough to make any parent wonder how they can successfully hold a job.

Employers can address these concerns by creating a company culture that understands that being at your desk from exactly 9 to 5 is not important as long as the work gets done, customers/clients are happy, and quality is maintained. Giving workers the flexibility to take care of their families while continuing to meet business goals will result in happier employees, fewer absences, and fewer resignations.

Create a Work Culture that Supports Parents

Despite parents’ best efforts, sometimes a child may disrupt a meeting if they work from home. While a tiny head popping into a Zoom frame or a scream for a snack may be distracting, it is important to create a culture in which these moments are funny rather than embarrassing and not something for parents to fret about.

I am lucky to work at a company where a child’s guest appearance is always welcomed with smiles and greetings, but I know that some businesses discourage and even punish this. Not to say that formality should go out the window, but in this time of childcare crisis, acknowledging that people are playing two roles at once — parent and employee — is meaningful.

Allow Employees to Work from Home

While it may seem inconvenient and is not appropriate for all job types or all workers, remote work is more efficient and effective now than ever before.

Allowing parents to work from home for even just a couple of days a week to care for their child or accommodate school schedules or other forms of childcare can mean the difference between parents staying in the workforce and leaving.

If possible, allow employees to work from home as needed, and make it clear that this is not an imposition or a problem. Those who work from home to stay with children may feel that they are less valued because they are not physically present, so it is important to show employees that this is not the case.

So What?

These days, when staying home with your child might mean more money in your pocket than going to work and paying for childcare (if you can find any), and with many employers struggling to find workers to fill open positions, it is important that we recognize the value of caregivers. It also means that employers must step up their parental benefits if they want to retain their workers.

The ideas listed above have proven effective at companies across the US, and as the childcare crisis shows no signs of letting up, will continue to help keep parents in the workforce.

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